by Danielle Gibson and Alexandra Fiber via Teen Vogue
No matter the circumstances, breaking up is hard to do. Things to keep in mind though? Everyone goes through painful breakups at some point (you’re not alone!), and relationships have a funny way of helping you learn about yourself (even if they end terribly). We’ve got a few Teen Vogue-approved tips for helping you get through that initial rough patch.
Embrace the wallow.
You’re allowed (nay, encouraged!) to indulge in some self-pity. This is one of the few times in life when it’s OK to wear sweatpants 24/7, eat horribly, and not want to leave your room, all while analyzing every single detail of the breakup. It’s totally fine. Take some time to commit to the sadness. Revel in it even, because after that you gotta…
Start the move-on period.
Thoughts of “If only I had done/said that one thing, we’d still be together!” and “It’s all my fault!” can consume all of your brainspace after a breakup, but only if you let them. After the mourning period is over, it’s time to get back to being the real you. Even if you don’t feel like it. Even if you need just a little more time. Because here’s the thing: You don’t. The only thing that’s going to truly mend your broken heart is distance from the situation, so you need to do anything and everything to get further and further away from it.
Talk to your friends. (But not about yourself.)
Ask your friends about their lives! Chances are while they were being your shoulder to cry on, you didn’t realize what was happening with them. Your friends were so good to you after the breakup, now it’s your turn to be supportive—not to mention distract yourself a bit. If you can involve yourself in their goings-on, it’s easier to forget about your own troubles for a little while.
Two words: music therapy.
Music can have a huge impact on your psyche, and there will always be those songs that remind you of that person. Fight the urge to listen to the tunes that conjure up thoughts of you-know-who, and instead make a playlist of the songs that you know will lift your mood! Blast it in the car, have a solo dance party in your bedroom, belt out some jams in the shower. Like Gloria Gaynor, you will survive.
Sweat it out.
In the words of Elle Woods, “Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy!” One surefire way to banish breakup malaise is to get moving—literally. Accompany your mom on her morning power walks, shoot some hoops with your dad, try a new class at the gym, or sign up for a 5K with your friends. When you start working your body in new ways, your heart will follow suit in no time.
Mix things up, OK?
When the dust settles after a breakup, you may feel like a different person. This isn’t a bad thing! Think of it as a new beginning, and honor it by doing something a little unexpected. Any change goes, big or small. Try out for that a cappella group, experiment with a new shade of lipstick—whatever thrills you.